Can I Contact a Funeral Director Before Someone Dies?

Yes. You can contact a funeral director before someone dies to ask for advice, discuss possible funeral arrangements or understand what will happen when the time comes.

You do not have to wait until a death has occurred, and contacting a funeral director does not mean that you must begin making detailed arrangements. Many funeral directors are willing to answer questions in advance, particularly when someone is receiving palliative or end-of-life care.

Practices can differ between funeral directors, so you can ask your preferred funeral director how they normally assist families before a death.

Why might I contact a funeral director in advance?

Families often contact a funeral director because they are unsure what they will need to do when the death occurs:

Who you should contact when the person dies
When the funeral director should be called
What information the funeral director will need
What choices the family may be asked to make
What documents may be required
What happens if the death occurs at home, in hospital, in a hospice or in a nursing home
Whether the person has already recorded any funeral wishes
What services and facilities the funeral director provides

You may only have one question, or you may want a fuller conversation. Either is acceptable.

Do I have to make the funeral arrangements in advance?

No. Contacting a funeral director does not mean that you have to organise the funeral immediately.

Some people simply want to know what to expect. Others may wish to discuss particular preferences, such as:

Burial or cremation
Where the wake or reposing might take place
An open or closed coffin
A religious, civil or other type of ceremony
The preferred church, ceremony venue, cemetery or crematorium
Music, readings or personal details
Whether the funeral should be public or private
How family members living abroad might be accommodated

You can discuss as much or as little as feels appropriate. Decisions do not necessarily have to be final, and circumstances or preferences may change.

Can the person who is dying be involved?

Yes, if they wish to be and are able to take part.

Some people want to speak directly with a funeral director or record their own funeral preferences. Others would prefer a family member to make the initial enquiry. There is no single correct approach.

A conversation about funeral wishes is separate from decisions about medical treatment or end-of-life care. Questions about the person’s health, care or medical wishes should be discussed with their GP, hospital doctor, palliative care team or other healthcare professionals.

What should I ask the funeral director?

You do not need to prepare a long list. A useful opening question may simply be:

“A member of our family is approaching the end of life. Is there anything we should know or prepare before the death occurs?”

You might also ask:

Who should we telephone when the person dies?
Are you available outside normal office hours?
What happens after we call you?
Is there any information we should have ready?
Can we discuss possible funeral arrangements without making final decisions?
What happens if the death occurs during the night?
Can the person be waked at home?
What facilities are available at your funeral home?
Can you provide an indication of possible funeral costs?
Are there any local procedures we should know about?

The answers may depend on where the person is being cared for and the circumstances of the death.

What happens when the death occurs?

The correct procedure depends on where and how the person died.

If an expected death occurs at home, the HSE advises that there is generally no need to do anything immediately. When the family is ready, they can contact the person’s GP or out-of-hours GP service and may also contact the funeral home.

If the person dies in a hospital, hospice or nursing home, the staff will explain the next steps and the procedures that apply in that setting.

A sudden, unexpected, unexplained or unnatural death may need to be reported to An Garda Síochána and the Coroner. Different procedures apply in those circumstances.

Although you can speak to a funeral director before a death, the funeral director cannot take the deceased person into their care until the relevant medical and procedural requirements have been completed.

Do I have to use the first funeral director I contact?

Asking a funeral director an initial question does not normally commit you to using their services.

If you are considering which funeral director to use, you can ask about their services, facilities, availability and charges. You may also want to consider the family’s previous relationship with a funeral director, the wishes of the person who is dying and the funeral director’s knowledge of the local area.

Where possible, it can help if close family members know which funeral director is likely to be contacted. This may avoid uncertainty when the death occurs.

Is it too early to make contact?

If you have a question, it is not too early to ask it.

You do not need to wait until you feel ready to discuss every aspect of the funeral. A short conversation may be enough to explain what the funeral director can help with and what the family will need to do later.

The purpose of contacting a funeral director in advance is not to pressure anyone into making decisions. It is an opportunity to get reliable information and make the situation a little clearer.

The key point

You can contact a funeral director before someone dies.

You may ask for advice, discuss possible arrangements or record funeral wishes without organising every detail. The funeral director can explain their role and local procedures, while the relevant healthcare professionals remain responsible for medical care and the steps required when the death occurs.

Because services and procedures can vary, contact your preferred funeral director directly and ask how they can help in your particular circumstances.